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Monthly Marriage Spark for March: Touch

Posted by Molly Riedel on March 13, 2023

Strengthen your relationship through TOUCH.

Does your relationship need a spark?  Would you like to learn some new ways to reconnect with your partner?  The Monthly Spark will help you do just that.

Each month, several items will be listed, such as an article, podcast, book, meditation, exercise, or game, that pertains to relationships or marriages to help rekindle connections.  Enjoy! Be curious!! Try something new. 

Spark #1:   Challenge each other! Can you touch each other every single day?    

Make it a point to touch your spouse every single day.  It could be a hug or a kiss on the forehead or a hand massage.  It could be something more intimate.  Whatever you choose, remember that skin-to-skin contact is part of every healthy marriage.  Sometimes I don't notice how tense I feel until my husband hugs me.  Immediately, my shoulders relax and I let out a breath that I didn't even know I was holding.  That's the magic of touch.

Spark #2:   Why is touch in a relationship important? 

Would it surprise you to know that there are health benefits of holding hands with your partner as you walk down the street, or embracing when you return home at the end of the day? Or setting your hand atop his thigh or behind his neck when you're the passenger next to him in the car? Do you know it can foster overall wellness — for both of you — to approach unexpectedly when she's sipping morning coffee at the kitchen table and your hands settle on her shoulders or your arms enfold her from behind?  (The Magic Touch)

Touch can strongly transmit a sense of being accepted and cared for. Touch also confers physiological benefits. In one study, partners were found to have lower levels of cortisol, the stress hormone, on days when they enjoyed higher levels of physical touch like hand holding or hugging.

 As a couple’s therapist, a lot of the work goes into building or rebuilding meaningful connections between people. Frequently, one of the signs of disconnection in relationships is the lack of touch. Touch is essential because of the ways it communicates emotions to others and because it stimulates the production of oxytocin, sometimes known as the love hormone.,

Spark #3:  Is Touch one of your love languages?  Find out by taking this quiz.

If you or your partner’s love language is physical touch- ask, each other how you like to be touched.  Kissing, hugging, holding hands, and sex are all ways of showing love through the physical touch love language. Oct. 11, 2022

Some ways to show love to someone whose love language is physical touch:

  • Kiss them hello and goodbye.
  • When you hug, use both arms and your whole body, and linger for an extra moment in the embrace.
  • Spontaneously give them a little back rub or back scratch.
  • Always hold hands when you're out and about.
  • When you're sitting together, rest your hand on their hand or leg, or put your arm around their shoulder.
  • If you're having a serious conversation, hold their hand or softly rub their arm while you listen to them talking.
  • Get to know their sexual desires well and prioritize them.
  • Rub their shoulders when they're stressed out.
  • When you're settling in to watch a movie, really snuggle in close to them.
  • Cuddle in bed together.

Note: Just remember to be mindful of consent. Use these actions only when they agree. 

Dear Lord,

Thank You for the way we get to express our love for each other in marriage. Thank You for the gift of physical touch. Your creative design of our bodies and how we can feel so close to each other just through touch is amazing. We pray we would be intentional to show more physical affection with one another. We pray we would take the time to hold hands, hug, embrace one another in small, and in more intimate ways. We pray our hearts would be receptive to physical touch. We pray we would grow in our understanding of how important it is to engage with each other through physical touch and know how affirming it truly is, in Jesus’ name AMEN!

"Therefore encourage one another and build each other up, just as in fact you are doing." (1 Thessalonians 5:11)


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