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Monthly Marriage Spark for January: Respect

Posted January 09, 2023

Strengthen your relationship through RESPECT. 

Does your relationship need a spark?  Would you like to learn some new ways to reconnect with your partner?  The Monthly Spark will help you do just that.

Each month, several items will be listed, such as an article, podcast, book, meditation, exercise, or game, that pertains to relationships or marriages to help rekindle connections.  Enjoy! Be curious!! Try something new. 

Happy couples respect each other.  When they do argue, they avoid blaming or name-calling.  During arguments, name calling is 100% off limits.  At the end of the day, you have to respect your partner and your marriage.  Remember the golden rule and treat your spouse the way you want to be treated.

Along the same lines, pay attention to the conversations you have about your spouse.  Think about how your partner would feel if he was listening in.  Would he feel loved?  Respected?  If not, steer the conversation in a different direction.

Spark #1:   Why is respect in a relationship important? 

Respect means that you accept somebody for who they are, even when they're different from you or you don't agree with them. Respect in your relationships builds feelings of trust, safety, and wellbeing. Respect doesn't have to come naturally – it is something you learn.

Respect also means that, while we may not always agree with our partner/s, we choose to trust them and put faith in their judgment. This trust can be built over time as your relationship progresses and you learn more about each other. 

Share with your partner your thoughts about the following reasons to show respect:

  1. If you show each other respect it means you love each other- - are love and respect the same??
  2. Through respect, can you learn to accept their flaws or only their virtues?
  3. Will respecting each other improve your sex life?? 

For more reasons to show respect in a relationship- look at this article: https://www.marriage.com/advice/relationship/reasons-why-respect-is-important-in-a-relationship/ 

Spark #2    How do you show respect in a healthy relationship?

Respect in a relationship is reflected in how you treat each other on a daily basis. Even if you disagree or have an argument (and arguments do happen, even in healthy relationships!), you are able to respect and value each other’s opinions and feelings by “fighting” fair. Respect isn’t about controlling someone or making them do what you want them to do. Respect is actually about the freedom to be yourself and to be loved for who you are.

In a healthy relationship, respect looks like:

  • Talking openly and honestly with each other
  • Listening to each other
  • Valuing each other’s feelings and needs
  • Speaking kindly to and about each other
  • Building each other up
  • Honoring each other’s boundaries, no matter what 

Talk to each other about these respectful behaviors and whether there are other ways that you both would like to be respected. 

For more information look at this article: https://www.loveisrespect.org/resources/what-is-respect-in-a-healthy-relationship/

Spark #3- Respect: What do we mean by mutual respect?

Mutual respect is a very simple concept. It means that you treat your spouse or partner in a thoughtful and courteous way. Mutual respect means that you view the opinions, wishes and values of your partner as worthy of serious consideration. While this sounds very simple it takes a consistent effort to treat your spouse or partner respectfully. Respect is not just the absence negative behavior, but the presence of positive behaviors. 

In this article “A couples counselor takes on Normal Martial Hatred”, Terrance Real talks about when couples fail to compromise or repair damage, their relationship is hurt.  Many of us have not been taught how to speak with love and how to negotiate.  He talks about working as a team, not individuals, for the good of the relationship.  Take a longer look at this article that Pastor Chris found and see if you find any tips for your relationship.

https://www.nytimes.com/2022/06/06/well/family/terrence-real-book-relationships.html?unlocked_article_code=AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAACEIPuonUktbfqYhkTlUbBSbKUNwj6ROPgPnL0fsgi2XkIS6eRHNYwu0RRoKH_ESIf6dnbscy2DKARN5ZK_kvWPl2hKd5DnBadjOJ8NGCiYhXZGI8s56yVWc7mJnGAO9jqDXgKze1JLw6mbDi71ePaWO-RPbZhiV2LQdmpMExJ0q4miBdntezGeFy3tF-2P0gF8o6EW9GPH_WyqGuXxZuO9yGbQXf6R02XYxaXjLTmt2b49EQYVkYSAKGHD4kvzFKuJ4LM8gXPa3-MxcjZML85L0VAWdsJ4uibIYjw5mO64X1cTdxpdY8hnVo8w&smid=nytcore-ios-share&referringSource=articleShare 

Prayer
Holy Spirit please inspire us to creatively love each other and respect each other daily. We pray that You would help us to have eyes only for our own spouse, that we would remain faithful and loyal companions. May Your love shine through each of our relationships in Jesus' name Amen. 

Matthew 7:12. 12
So, in everything, do to others what you would have them do to you, for this sums up the Law and the Prophets. ...

 

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