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Monthly Marriage Spark for December: Praise

Posted by Molly Riedel on December 12, 2022

Strengthen your relationship thru PRAISE. 

Does your relationship need a spark?  Would you like learn some new ways to reconnect with your partner?  The Monthly Spark will help you do just that.

Each month, several items will be listed, such as an article, podcast, book, meditation, exercise, or game, that pertains to relationships or marriages to help rekindle connections.  Enjoy! Be curious!! Try something new. 

The word praise means showing approval or admiration to someone.  Tell your spouse how much you appreciate them.  Recognize the things he/she does for you and your family.  See the things he/ she does right instead of focusing on the things he/ she does wrong. 

This sounds so easy, but in our day to day lives, it is easy to forget to give some praise to our partners.

 In many marriages, I hear couples say- “Well why do I have to compliment him?  He never says anything nice to me.”  Are we waiting to get praise before we give it? Many times, we do this and what does it get us?  More division and unhappiness.   We need to ask ourselves- what do we really want in our relationships?   Here are some sparks for you to think about and practice when praising each other.

Spark #1:   WHY IS Praise IN A RELATIONSHIP IMPORTANT?

Praise is an essential ingredient to a healthy, happy relationship. Building one another up on a daily basis is a surefire way to build intimacy and keep your love alive for years to come.

Couples who praise each other feed the positive energy in their marriages. They’re happier, more secure, and more unified in their relationship. On the other hand, couples who don’t bother to give one another praise are less likely to have a successful relationship.  Drs. Les and Leslie Parrott list three reasons to praise:

  1. Praise Makes Us Feel Loved
  2. Praise Raises Our Confidence Level
  3. Praise Creates a United Front

Ask each other about praise.  Are you giving and receiving enough praise?  Talk about what type of praise feeds your soul. 

Click on this link for more ideas and details about the reasons to praise.
https://www.symbis.com/blog/3-reasons-praise-spouse-every-day/

Spark #2    How do you give Heartfelt Praise to your Partner? 

This is a question that couples ask all the time.  “How do I sound sincere?  When I give praise, it can sound so fake.”  Here are some tips to help you with giving praise.  The most important part is to talk to each other about making this change in your relationship and start doing it.  Have fun with it. 

Five Tips to Give Heartfelt Praise:

  1. Be as specific as you can. Let them know exactly what it was they did, or the quality they have, that was special – and why that’s important.
  2. The best heartfelt praise includes feeling words and comes from the heart! Describe how the person (or their actions) makes you feel.
  3. Include superlatives (but only) where appropriate. These are words that suggest a very high quality like the best, outstanding, incredible, phenomenal!
  4. Less common – or unusual – words can also work really well. This makes the praise more unique and personal.
  5. But most important is being genuine – and expressing how and why you value the person being praised.

More information – click here:  https://fiercekindness.com/how-to-give-heartfelt-praise-plus-12-example-compliments/#5-Tips-Heartfelt

Challenge:  Try each one of these tips on each other and what was it like.  Try to praise each other at least once a day and notice any differences.  Be intentional. 

FUN FACT: Did you know there is an ideal ratio of praise to criticism? This means, to keep your partner, employees, co-workers or loved ones happy, make sure that you give 5-7 compliments for every 1 criticism…

Prayer
Dear Heavenly Father, Thank you for this life together, for the gift of our love, and the blessing of our marriage. We give you praise and thanks for the joy you've poured into our hearts through this bond of love we share. Thank you for the contentment of family, and the happiness of our home.

Ephesians 4:29
Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen. 

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