Dates with a Purpose for October

What are the marital expectations once the honeymoon is over and you are settling in as a married couple? Here are some things you can do as a married couple to insure a happy marriage.

by Molly Riedel on October 11, 2021

MARITAL EXPECTATIONS

‘Falling in love is easier than knowing what to do once you’re there. Marriage is kind of like your final graduation. As long as you’re going to school there is a clearly defined “next” (courses to complete, papers to write, tests to take, applications to fill out, etc…). Once you finish and can do “what you always wanted” it is least clear how to make “it” happen. How do you get from degreed to employed? How do you get from employed to fulfilling work? How do you prevent fulfilling work from leading to burnout and find contentment?

Through the process of dating, engagement, wedding planning, ceremony, and honeymoon there is also a clear “next.” But what do you do when you get home from the honeymoon? How do you get from married to marriage roles? How do you get from defined roles to mutually fulfilling life? How do you avoid allowing roles from becoming stereotypes or relational ruts and find lasting contentment?’—  Brad Hambrick

‘Standing at the altar, we all had a picture of what our marriage would look like. The problem is this picture of marriage results in expectations that we unload on our spouse. The weight of these expectations will rob your marriage of love and joy. As a spouse you never feel like you measure up and you never feel like you are good enough. So what are you to do with your expectations? You can’t deny them, because most expectations started out as God-given desires.   -Andy Stanley

  1. Share with your spouse some of the expectations you had about being married before actually getting married. What are they now? Have they changed or are they the same?  
  1. Come up with a marriage “bucket list.” What are some things you and your spouse haven’t done  together that you would ultimately like to do? How realistic are these ideas? How can you set in motion a plan to accomplish some or all of these activities especially with the little extra freedom from the pandemic? 
  1. When thinking about your personal “legacy” or the legacy you want to leave behind as a married couple, where does God fit in? How important is it for others to know that God is a part of your life and your marriage? And share w/ each other why it’s important or not to you. 
  1. Think of a “marriage pact or core values that hold you together”. Narrow it down to a couple  sentences that really emphasize what’s truly important to you as a couple.

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